Vinyl soundtrack releases have reached peak ridiculousness with the impending release of The Shawshank Redemption OST—the soundtrack record collectors have been clamoring for since never. With that in mind, we’ve gathered some films that are also long due for wax treatment.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3
We’ve been fantasizing about Paul on vinyl since the day the first OST came out on *ugh* CD, but if they screw it up and don’t release all three as a triple gatefold, we’re going to put two bad words together to make a worse word.
“Here’s a nice piece of shit!”
If you literally don’t want to listen to pitched-up voices pretending to be cockroaches singing about filth and God then there’s something wrong with you.
Packed with classics like “Bad To The Bone”, which you may remember from Terminator 2: Judgement Day and George Thorogood & The Destroyers, as well as the incredible “Problem Child (End Title Song)”, this is the perfect album to let mom and dad know you will not be moving out and finding a job. Deal with it!
Not Without My Daughter
In German, the word for “dream” is “traum,” which is close enough to “trauma” for us to say that this vinyl soundtrack would be a trauma come true.
The original vinyl run is long since out of print, and honestly we would buy this if it was just Robin Williams saying Olive Oyl’s name “sounds like lubrikinks” for 30 minutes.
Chairman Of The Board
This, but the audio is just this incredible Norm MacDonald moment on Conan.
Sex And The City 2
Because nothing says “I prefer the fidelity of a fairly niche musical format” like glamorizing vapid capitalist decadence!
The Nicolas Cage Box Set
Face/Off. The Rock. The one where there’s bees. Some other films Nicolas Cage has been in. It’s the perfect gift for the practicing nihilist.
Just Googled this as a laugh but it actually exists and now we’re intrigued.
The one comment on the trailer: “nice.”
Published July 30, 2016.