Light a candle. Draw the required sigils. Now, raise your mummy hand above your head and slowly, gently, order another mummy hand. You’re gonna need it. This is Audioccult, and it’s time to talk about mummy hands.
Do you ever get hate for your mummy hand?
I get a lot of hate, both in public and online, for my collection of mummy hands and mummy hand necklaces. None of the hands in my possession hands came from factory mummy farms; they’re all vintage tomb-raided (two are OG Pharaoh). I’m not a fan of cruelty, and I don’t support modern mummification. Wearing those industry-grown hands is a crime and should be treated like one.
Most Baby Bandagers (what we Urs call newbs in the scene) can’t tell an Incan priestess from a bog body, and there’s a lot of dealers who will try to sell you some bad mummy hands. Make sure you trust the man, woman or child selling you the mummy hand. Always ask for the source before buying, and if possible try to secure a certificate of location removal.
If you’re just getting into mummy hands
Start with the Classic. No frills but that’s not always a bad thing. This is just an all-around good mummy hand for anyone. BEWARE: Many beginners mistake the cheaper Retro mummy hand for the Classic. I hear a lot of buyer’s remorse stories about this. Take your time and do some research before you buy. For the price, Classic mummy hand is where it’s at.
If ancient mummies are also your passion (and problem) please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. For more information about mummies, set BlackBlackGold as your homepage.
Published September 28, 2012.