10 Berlin Club Toilets in Review

Years of research went into this list. While at one point there would have been no real demand for it, the listicle has become a key instrument of modern lifestyle journalism. When it comes to ranking toilets, our general rule of thumb is: the bigger the club, the bigger the toilet. However, size doesn’t automatically imply quality, as you will see when you visit the toilets included here. In general, I advise you to make up your own mind and form opinions based on experience rather than blindly following this list. It’s simply a starting point—and it’s also highly personal.

1. SchwuZ

SchwuZ has literally the best club toilet I’ve been to in my whole life. There are probably fancier potties out there, but this bathroom makes an astonishing first impression. When you enter, you’re immediately blown away by the hundreds of stalls. There are stalls EVERYWHERE. They could open a whole other club in there. The interiors have nice little tables to leave things on while you’re hanging out. The booths are also decently sized, which is a plus if you like to take a crowd in with you.

2. Berghain

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The Berghain toilets are where it’s at. They have their own lore and legend—including that there are secret potties stashed all over the place—so let’s take an in-depth look. All of the main restrooms in Berghain have a minimalist, utilitarian design: there are no shelves, which means you can’t lay a phone down anywhere, and the bowls are made of metal, which makes them easy to hose down. On most nights, the staff does a stellar job of cleaning those puppies every few hours, and that alone sets them leagues above most other club toilets.

Panorama Bar’s main WC is a social hub, a place to meet people, a place to talk and lounge on ratty couches and smoke and cheer. Many music industry deals have occurred its bowels. It’s easy to get a conversation started and chat with an amazing new acquaintance for hours while someone who actually needs to pee pounds desperately on the door. The downstairs restroom next to the main Berghain dance floor is a classic—I mean, who among us hasn’t passed out there on the sofas while trying to decide to whether to go home or have another dance? The toilets on the ground floor are suuuper chill. You can peek out the window at the queue and lol at everyone down below.

Berghain is a very unique club, and by now probably everyone has heard tales of expats’ sexual adventures there, but people are still super secretive about what’s going on in the toilet stalls. This is a bit weird.

3. Tresor

Hegemann’s is a classic club toilet. There’s nothing bad about it and nothing really special. The locks work well and the compartments are spacious. I would recommend this one to pretty much anyone who loves clubs and toilets.

4. Kit Kat Club

If you have ever dreamed of being REALLY CLOSE to a throng of unfamiliar bodies, this is your Eden. Once you wedge yourself through the sweaty people crowding the entrances, you can find some eloquent conversationalists. Security checks the cabins pretty frequently, which is both a pro and a con. They may interrupt whatever’s going on in there, but they’re not trying to arrest you. Plus, if you really need to go, the group in the cubicle that’s been standing around an iPhone and chatting with their AirBnb guest won’t be there too long.

5. Salon Zur Wilde Renate
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Have you ever wondered what would happen if you gave a whole house to those kids that you see at all the parties K-holing in some corner? Well, here it is. Renate is a house: some rooms, some beds and some toilets. There is no real distinction between the actual toilets and the dance floor in this maniac mansion. Be careful where you step/sit. It’s an ubiquitous, kind of eclectic approach to toilets. Some love it, some say, “This was funny for a bit but now is just so over.” You decide.

6. Club der Visionäre

The whole club is kind of a toilet, because it’s next to the water. And the toilets are kind of like the whole club, because they’re derelict, tiny and full of old people on K.

7. Griessmühle

This one is for the connoisseur, so you must be somewhat adept in the world of club toilets to fully enjoy it. Not for the faint of heart, this is the true underground: grimy, gritty and kind of groundbreaking in its simplicity. The locks are often broken so you have to hold them shut with your foot while you hover-pee, and in that position it’s hard not to number one on yourself. You might find yourself in a huge queue at first, unaware that there are more toilets down the hall. That’s where the real magic happens. You have to experience this for yourself to understand the elation and glee one feels when he finds three empty stalls in a club at five in the morning.

8. OHM Berlin

Technically this club is Tresor’s little sister, so it’s in the same building—in fact, the whole thing used to be a bathroom back when the building was a power plant, isn’t that ironic? It’s cozy, cute and nice. This one’s for beginners, and a welcome entry point into the world of club toilets.

9. Golden Gate

There’s a rumor going around that Golden Gate has a storage room full of fresh new johns so they can replace the broken ones after every weekend. It can get quite wild here, and parties last way into Tuesday. This is your real Berlin experience, something to write home about.

10. Chesters

Glass doors? Seriously? WTF?

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Positive Agression: Tanith’s Guide to Belgian Rave and New Beat

Hear Berlin Legend Tanith Mix The Insane Sound Of New Beat In This Podcast

Throughout the week, Electronic Beats has rolled out the final segments of our five-part 72 Hours in Antwerp series, exploring techno’s Belgian roots. The Flemish, as A.J. Samuels and Mark Smith note, have been moving to mechanized rhythms and partying for days on end since before the concept of rave even came into being. In fact, music from Belgium made up a major proportion of the records circulating through Berlin’s early techno scene. In his guide, former Tresor resident and Berlin techno pioneer Tanith helps us navigate some key tracks from the heyday of Belgian rave. 

T99 “Anasthasia”
This track remains a Belgian anthem, and may be the boldest example of Wagnerian techno yet. Its release led to countless imitations, and the style quickly became overused and went out of favor.

Zsa Zsa Laboum “Something Scary”
New Beat par excellence. Bold and dark in a post-acid rush, with clear roots in EBM.

Agaric “I’m Gonna Beat Dis”
The title says what I always enjoyed about this music, which I like to call “positive aggression.”

Edwards & Armani “Acid Drill”
A combination of acid and drill from Belgium—the absurdity knows no end. I still laugh out loud when I hear this.

Ravebusters “Mitrax (In-Fluid)”
Contrary to popular legend, Belgium stood alongside Detroit and the UK as a pillar of the early Tresor sound. This is Belgian techno as it was at home in Tresor.

Photon “Doin Our Thang”
For me, still something like a techno freedom anthem.

The Second Wave “Let the Groove Move (Dub Mix)”
This track is still the perfect soundtrack for coming out into the light after eight hours in a dark club and taking your transport of choice through the Berlin streets, looking for your next kick. Try it out!

Liaison D “He Chilled Out”
It doesn’t have to be nosebleed all the time. This track proves the Belgians’ versatility.

Lhasa “The Attic”
This 1990 track laid the blueprint for what would become trance from ’93 onwards, without too much sugar and kitsch.

The Age of Love “The Age of Love”
Better known for its equally brilliant Jam & Spoon remix, this track is an Age of Love original.

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Covering Tracks: Avalon Emerson

Covering Tracks is a regular series in which we ask our favorite producers and DJs to recommend ten new (and not so new) releases. We’re closing out this week with a set of tracks from Avalon Emerson, a Berlin-via-San Francisco transplant whose Let Me Love and Steal EP hit shelves this week via Spring Theory. Each tune she’s picked for us was plucked from a record that she discovered while crate digging in stores across the United States during a tour that she just completed. We’ll let Avalon take it from here.

I can’t say I’m too much of an advance-copy, demo-rinsing DJ. I firmly believe that a lot of the best stuff is tucked away in record stores with no listening stations, under the arm and recommendation of a record store employee, or under everyone’s noses in the dollar bin—far from hype, inflated Discogs prices, and disposable promo pools. Here are a few dope cuts I got from record stores while on tour.

Turntable Terror — “Scream (Bonestrack)” [Mid-Town]
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This sloppy ’91 rave stuff will always have a home in my heart. Plus, it features some of my favorite samples from that era.
Picked up at: K-Starke in Chicago, for free. Kevin told me I could grab two records from the dollar section on the way out.

The Friend — “Bleed” [Local Heat]

This whole 12″ is really unique and beautiful.
Picked up at: Gramaphone Records in Chicago, on a recommendation from Jacob.

Roland Clark — “Simple Things (Joaquin’s Drum Dub Version)” [Sacred Rhythm]
Simple Things by Roland Clark
A masterfully produced and arranged jazz and drum-driven record.
Picked up at: Gramaphone Records in Chicago, on a recommendation from Michael.

TP Traxx (aka Terrence Parker) – “Untitled” [Intangible Records & Soundworks]

FYI, this video is for the A side, and I play the B side, which is much better in my opinion.
Picked up at: Recordland in Calgary, Candada

Da Posse — “In The Heat of the Night (Jimpster’s Stretchedit)” [Freerange Records]

A great light-handed edit for a bit more room to work with in a DJ context.
Picked up at: Vinyl Dreams in San Francisco

Marquis Hawkes — “Peanut” [Clone Jack 4 Daze]

This might just be as good as it gets, as far as European white dudes making old school acid goes.
Picked up at: Vinyl Dreams in San Francisco

Aria Rostami — “Czarat” [Spring Theory]

I love how the bright yellow cardstock interior and embossed artwork complement Aria’s complex instrumentation and arrangement.
Picked up at: Spring Theory HQ in San Francisco

Click here to read more Covering Tracks from the likes of Locked Groove, Tommy Four Seven, and Airhead.

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Have a peek at photos from Karen O’s Berlin show

Karen O’s Crush Songs tour reached its final date last night with a packed-out show at Berlin’s Heimathafen, hosted by yours truly.

One man band Moses Sumney  got things off to a flyer, creating a hushed intimacy with his blend of stratospheric vocals, body percussion, and understated guitar licks. By the time he returned with another band mate to accompany the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s front woman, Heimathafen felt brilliantly cozy. O’s pared-down love songs subtly wooed a captive audience, leaving space for a few explosive moments, notably Canadian electronic provocateur Peaches hopping on stage from the crowd  for a tambourine cameo. Check our snaps from the night below,  and see you for our next show in Vienna on October 18th with Caribou, Omar Souleyman and more!

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Win Tickets to see EB Presents Alt-J in Berlin!

Update: The contest is now over! We’ll be selecting and contacting winners throughout the day, so keep an eye on your inbox. If you don’t hear from us, we’re truly sorry, but we hope to see you at the show anyway.

There’s only one week left until the release of Alt-J’s latest album, This Is All Yours, and our thirst has never been stronger. The British band has been drip-feeding singles and videos from the LP all summer, including the Cyrus-sampling “Hunger of the Pine” and the gendered videos for “Every Other Freckle,” which we’ve included below, along with the Spotify stream of the album itself. Now that our excitement has reached a fever pitch, it seems like a perfectly fitting time to announce that we’re hosting an Alt-J live set on October 1 at Lido in Berlin, and we’re giving away 50×2 free tickets to the event. The raffle starts today and ends on the 22—the day before the album drops—and you can enter using the form below. And if you’re not in Berlin, fear not—we’ll be recording the set for EB.TV.

 

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